[esa-t474] Typos corrected

Sat Dec 1 18:59:10 GMT 2007

Hi Mark, a few more comments:
1.  abstract states a 40m baseline for the 3 bpm stations.  But Fig. 3 indicates it's 32 meters and at start of section 4 you indicate a baseline of 30m.  Should change abstract to 30m.
2.  on p.3 last paragraph beginning "in the framework..."  should i) not capitalize The in front of Stanford Linear ..., and ii) eliminate second "available" at end of that sentence.
3.  Section 2.1 1st paragraph, should have ..."The bunches are then kicked by a pulsed ... and are transported ... where they are stored ..."
4.  Section 2.1 p.5, should have ..."These are located at the high dispersion point (see Figure 4) in the ..."
5.  Section 2.3 last sentence on p. 10, should have ..."We used the reference cavity ... For BPMs 3-5; it was therefore tuned to 2.859 GHz."
6.  Table 4 is missing the result for BPM4 unless it was defined to be zero which isn't stated and isn't necessary.
7.  Section 2.5 last paragraph, should state ..."both the attenuation and alignment offsets of the BPMs ..."
8.  Section 3.2.1 p.21, should state ..."describes the position axis and consequently its angle of ..."
9.  Table 8 doesn't give a predicted linked resolution, but this should be possible.
10.  Section 4.2 2nd paragraph, should have ..."shown in Figure 14.  The IQ ..."
11.  Section 4.2 p. 26, suggest ..."To explain the observed ~1% scale change found from ..."
12.  Section 4.3 first paragraph, should have ..."zoom into the last hour of the ..."
13.  Section 4.3 second paragraph, suggest ..." exposed to larger temperature variations."
14.  Figure 16 results are inconsistent for bpm10x residual over 1 hour and 18 hours.  The 1 hour is stated to be the last hour of the 18 hour run in the text.  Was 16b never corrected for the new 11x calibration constants (frequency, IQ phase and scale) after its perturbation during an access?
15.  Section 4.3 3rd paragraph, should have ..."over the coarse of the 18 hour run."
16.  The "clear correlation" between 4x residual and esa rack temp is not so convincing in Fig. 17.  Would weaken that statement to "evidence for".  If this is true then should see much bigger effects looking at 1,2 residuals wrt extrapolation from the other stations since have much larger temp variations over short time constants.
17.  Section 4.3 p. 29 on earth's magnetic field study.  It's incorrect that if the residual dispersion changes over the baseline that can lead to the linked residual depending on beam energy.  The dispersion can change linearly over the baseline and not cause any changes in linked residual.  Only magnetic fields (like earth's field) over the baseline can cause a dependence of the linked residual on beam energy.
18.  Section 5 last paragraph.;  BPMs 3 and 5 were not moved.  They stayed where they were and bpm4 was moved to mid-chicane.  Also should point out use of Helmholtz coils for calibration to eliminate effects of beam drift during calibration.
19.  For references, check punctuation and make sure have year for everything (don't give month).  Should also give weblinks where appropriate (RDR in ref. 4, ref. 6); for reference 6, use weblink http://www-project.slac.stanford.edu/ilc/testfac/ESA/projects/T-474.html.
20.  For reference 7, use Test Beam Studies at SLAC End Station A for the International Linear Collider.
M. Woods et al. SLAC-PUB-11988, EUROTEV-REPORT-2006-060, 2006.  I couldn't find where in text this was referred to but could put a reference link to it after first sentence in Section 2.2 (it would then become reference 8 I think).

I think addressing these comments should be pretty quick and still be able to submit paper in next few days!  Good work on the latest updates for the paper!  Cheers, mike

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Slater [mailto:slater at hep.phy.cam.ac.uk] 
Sent: Friday, November 30, 2007 9:49 AM
To: esa-t474 at hep.ucl.ac.uk
Subject: [esa-t474] Typos corrected

Dear All,

I have put in all the corrections I recieved except a few:

1)  I haven't added a measured vs. predicted plot for the resolution
2)  I haven't updated the energy vs. residual plot at the end of the paper
3)  I still need to try to sort out bibtex for the references
4)  I have also yet to get a SLAC pub number or EuroTev number. 

I'll get these sorted over the weeked (as much as possible). but I've uploaded everything else and so if I get the all clear on Monday at the phone meeting, I'll submit on Tuesday.

Many Thanks,

Mark

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